Not The Preview Fae The Red Side vs Satan's Jism Spawn

Last updated : 22 December 2006 By Stand Free Ed
As we go through oor thirties, me and ma mates keep finding wee signs that middle age and the slipper-wearing years will soon be upon us.

We're already at the stage where we can recall the previous five names of particular boozers. We've always agreed that once the sights and sounds of your youth re-emerge then you're ready to be put out to pasture, so when first 90's Theme bar in Aberdonia and the Roses and Mondays revival hits then it's time to find a comfy chair and develop an interest in the cardigans in Dunn & Co and suddenly find a SAGA Bus Tour an interesting holiday option.

Thing is, for the first time something fae ma youth has made an unexpected comeback: Aberdeen v Rangers. And this time it actually means something...well not really.

Aye, I know 'The Race for the Champions League Spot' n'at, but even that's a misnomer...it's actually 'The Race for the Champions League Preliminary Qualifiers - Round 2 Spot'. They may list achievements like that under 'Trophies Won' doon at the Pink Bus Shelter but we have higher standards here in Gods' Ain Republica Di Aberdonia, and finishing in second (a projected) 30 points behind the champions is hardly grounds for OTT celebrations.

Oh dinna get me wrong...it beats the shit out of 11th or 12th in the SPL, but to be honest most Reds I ken are pragmatic enough to accept that the odds are against us finishing above the Buns come May...indeed there's an argument that says in the long term we'd be better off going into the UEFA Cup next season than risking humiliation in the CL Qualifiers.

Nah we just want to be above them at Xmas, ideally courtesy of a regal horsing, but we'll accept a 95th minute injury time winner sclaffed off Darren Mackie's arse and be just as happy.

Now I don't deny that I've been very critical of Tango and Sash (as is my want and right as a paying punter) but I have to concede regardless of what I think of the performances the results have been the best any Reds side has recorded in a generation. I wanted progress and progress we've got this year.

We've now got a side that can view games against the bottom six as 3 point bankers and is more than a match for the Reekie Twins. The only elements we need to perfect in this mix is the ability to beat the OF when the heat is on.
So in many ways Saturday is, if you like, our 'breakthrough game'.
Fit's a 'breakthrough game' I hear ye say? Simple: it's the game that confirms, or at least provides evidence, that a side is going somewhere and gonna do something.

If ye glance back into our history the back to back wins at the Brendanbau in the 1980 title run-in were breakthrough games as they gave us the belief we could go onto the OF's manor and piss on their chips...a crucial element in any title bid in Scotland.
Likewise the 1982 Cup Final was a breakthrough game as it proved we could win Cup finals. Even in Europe the breakthrough game was at Anfield where we lost 5-0 on aggregate...a heavy defeat may seem a bizarre 'breakthrough', but it showed us what was required to do well in Europe and 12 months later we were cuffing the UEFA Cup Holders and giving Mick Mills the spinning death and 18 months after that horsing some outfit ca'ed Real Madrid to win some euro bauble.

A result in one of these games is what has been lacking and for me explains the reluctance of the Aberdonian public to come flooding back to watch the mighty Reds.

The fare we've been served up to date has been the sort that is only gonna attract the diehards, the hardcore of the hardcore n'at. The same masochists who showed up every week in the vain belief/hope that a side managed by Steve Paterson and containing Jamie McQuilken would somehow be magically transformed into Brazil fae Espana '82.

However for this one the Aberdonian public has responded (and apparently in similar numbers for the Killie game....which to be honest will be more crucial to where we finish come May than Saturday) so can Tango and Sash's Catenacchio All Stars do the necessary?

I see no reason why not to be honest...for the first time in ages you can go through the two sides and it's hard to find any difference in quality or ability. Oh sure, the Buns on paper have players of a higher pedigree and certainly bigger wage packets but thy're a divided side of loosely associated cliques (not unlike us under A*tken) who lack the stomach for the fight (perhaps as a result of not being allowed to tackle in training) which are the very areas in which we are strong.

Up front we're blessed by the fact Boyd is out, for while Prso is undoubtedly class and needs to be watched he disnae score many, Novo is erratic and Sebo....well Sebo is just p*sh it's almost embarrasing that he scored the winner last time out. In midfield Sir Baz o the Chav needs watching - a role Foster filled very well at Ibrox in October - and Mickey should have the match of Charlie 'Teeth' Adams.

As for that defence...well to be fair Smith is sound and a future Scotland left back, Hutton is passable but both are young and prone to errors under pressure. As for their Central Defence...2 blind octogenarians could do better.

Useless in the air (Miller should have a field day) and hopeless at positioning, which means Mackie could run them ragged as the Buns will play a higher line than most of our recent visitors and either the Swedish numpty or the French one will be forced to go with him leaving huge holes for our midfielders to flood through.

For me a lot depends on how we play. If you were to make up an identikit of how the Dons play this year, it would be strangle the game with solid defence and counterpunching on the break until the opponents are knackered then grab an opener and then as they try and pull it back sounding the bugles and grabbing the clincher in the last 10 minutes.

I cannae see Jimmy deviating too far from this strategy to be honest, he'd argue that if Chris's shot had deviated a fraction of a degree it almost paid of at Ibrox. I wouldnae be surprised to see Touzani recalled and played in central midfield beside Seve to sit in front of our defence and form a box wi Russ and Considine behind, to kill any Bun attacks while our wingers and full backs will be given license to roam forward and cause choas on the flanks.

In an ideal world however I'd like to see Jimmy loosening the shackles and taking off the safety just slightly and really going for it.
As discussed they're very weak at the back and this season any side that has had a go have beaten them, whilst those that have sat in havnae.

But the main reason is cos Pittodrie on Saturday will be full of punters who havenae been to Todders for a while....and an attractive expansive performance would do much to encourage them to come back in the New Year.

Whilst it is almost dripping in sugar coated bollocks but a defeat when we go down fighting and playing well would also bring the punters back where as defeat playing the way we normally do wouldnae.

But to be honest I dinna care how we do it, I just want to do them so Jimmy: in the words of Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis....'Just Win Baby'.

Oh ok then, I'll bring it back......

Yes folks, the completely pointless and hopelessly inaccurate Head-Heart-Arse predictor thingy...which in the style of the pointless rebrand of Southern Comfort as 'SoCo'...I mean what the fucks wi the 'o's? An SC and lemonade sounds a helluva lot less poofy than 'Oh I'll have a SoCo and Lemonade please darling!'...so here we go wi the HeHeAr:

Head - 2-1, as two equally matched sides duke it out but Russ nicks it wi a late header

Heart - 3-1. A Lovell double and a free flowing exhibition o fitba that sends Jean Marie Le Penguin homewards to think again

Arse - Hmmm got the faint smell of mouldy sprouts and cheese sauce that suggests 0-1 wi a sclaffed 93rd minute deflection off Sebo's arse but I'll go wi 1-1 which will be disappointing at the time but by 5 o'clock and several jars be 'awrite'

Just time for Fred to steal the show again...no, no insert this week it appears [I'll save it for next time - Ed].

Mind and make some f*ckin noise......CAHHMMM ON YE REDS

Slater


The Red Avenger