Preview Fae The Red Side vs Murrawell
1. They were crap
2. They were repetitive
But most of all because the Cuprinol Coated Buffoon would invariably make me look an even bigger ill-informed fanny than I normally am wi daft bloody formation and tactics...och well, sod it, let's have one last pop.
The morn sees us play Murrawell, a team which (at Pittodrie at least) has turned into a bit of a part time bogey side for us of late.
They are however, in this Post-Butcher era, a bit crap. Yeah, yeah, I know...they took a point at Ibrox, but these days everyone but us gets a result at Ibrox. But barring the usual respect shown to any opponent, they should pose us few problems...especially as they are without their main threat in Scott MacDonald. On paper at least this looks like a home banker...however fitba is played on grass and we also have to factor in the effects of Tango's Tactical Tombola.
We've derided Fharce of Mhid Lithuania for making their team selection via a tombola yet it would appear our manager selects his formations and tactical line up in a similar manner wi Monday night being a classic example.
We faced a side with...wait for it...an international-class attack (think American Samoa) in Dargo and Bayne. We would have been comfortable enough, you would have thought, wi the Best Central Defender in the land plus one of Considine or Diamond, we could have coped quite easily and concentrated on playing our game.
Obviously 'Tombola says: no', and back went Seve into central defence. Which left many Reds, and it has to be said Craig Burley as well, completely baffled for, as Tango pointed out in his post match interview: 'we couldn't string 2 passes together'.
Now a cynic like masel could point out perhaps the reason for this was because our best midfielder was sitting 25 yards deeper marking a non-existent threat from Dargo and Bayne.
As a result we spent the entire game hoofing long balls up to Miller and Mackie and as such didnae manage a single shot on target until Lovell rattled the woodwork in the 87th minute and once again the chance to advance up the league was blown.
All of which crystallised the reasons for the growing frustration with Calderwood. I think we can all understand that against the OF and Reekie Twins we need to take into account the threat posed and act accordingly but against the rest of the SPL, without being too arrogant and complacent, we have a good enough side and squad (certainly in defence) not to concern ourselves too much with how they are going to play.
Far, far, far too often this term Calderwood has been negative to the point of paranoia. To mangle an analogy, he's like the over-protective parent sending their bairn out to play wi three coats and umpteen scarves to ensure they dinna get a chill and coated in bubble wrap in case they fall over.
I hope tomorrow Calderwood realises it's time to send out our players and just let them play...we should be more than capable of beating Well in that case.
I've also banged on about this before, but it is time (after two-and-a-half years) that we began to get an inkling of what a Calderwood side actually looks like and what style it plays in. For that reason his tombola has to go. Our contemporaries at the Pink Bus Shelter and Fester Road can at least point to a shape, formation and know that's how they play best...free flowing passing for the Ribs and thuggish cloggery with beards for the Yams.
With Karim due to sit on the bench and (thank f*ck) Lovell back and fit there can be no excuse over the next few weeks for Calderwood starting to show us what his vision consists of.
As Iain Crocker kept pointing out to fill in the long spells of tedium, Monday was Tango's 100th game in charge, and as me mucker Style Council pointed out: 'Aye and 95 o them having been f*ckin awful'...mind you he did struggle to name the five good games in question.
Anyway as for tomorrow, we have a fully fit squad but just to throw a pigeon amongst the cats...I think Mackie should start.
Right, now you've removed the coffee fae the screen, here's ma half baked theory. Yes, on Monday night oor Daz put in a shift that would have exhausted a Roget's Thesaurus for words to describe shite but it's horses for courses and Murrawell are one of oor Daz's favourite courses over the years. I think I'm right in saying he has grabbed two braces in recent seasons and under Ebbe (okay, long ago) he scored a peach.
The other reason for this seemingly bizarre (tombola-esque?) suggestion is Well are a pretty physical outfit so it may be a high risk to play Stevie Lovell for the full 90 and whilst NotPhil Maguire is an exciting prospect he is very lightweight physically and again is probably best deployed coming off the bench.
Hopefully Tango will have learned his lesson and have Seve back in midfield and we should utilise Miller to maximum effect by getting him the ball to his feet in the box...as Monday showed, expecting him to chase down long high balls is simply a waste – that's not his game.
Anyway the time to dig out, for one last time, the auld 'Heed-Heart-Arse' predictor thing-a-me:
Head - 3-1 or 2-0 the Reds...wi' a brace from Miller. I can only see them scoring fae the spot without MacDonald.
Heart - 4-0...a walk in the park and an Argentina vs Serbia style destruction of ra Well...I should really rename this bit the 'Snorting Class A drugs' prediction
Arse - 1-1...if ye check the form of the past few years this jumps out at ye....and this is merely to cover my arse if he dives into the tombola and comes up wi something completely feckin stupid.
Stand Free n' the usual gubbins....and cahm ohn ye Reds !
The Red Avenger