Now one of the umpteen half-arsed theories I bore the pants off folk with regards oor keepers. If we want to increase our Brasso order in the foreseeable future we will need to recruit or develop an international class keeper.

There's nothing that wrong with either of the two we've played this year, they're perfectly adequate and on occasion can be superb, it's just that over a season they'll make enough errors to cost you silverware.

Think about it - how many points has Gordon won Hearts this year? And how many points have we dropped due to keeper errors?

We need a keeper of the calibre of Leighton/Snelders/Kjaer, but as the lads pointed out when we discussed this at the Hibs game: “There's no many Snelders gaun about just now.” Sadly, very true and certainly no many within our price range.

- Langfield
As discussed above, adequate. Nothing dramatic but then again nothing catastrophic.

- Esson
And so after 100 appearances it's farewell tae the Torry loon. He's improved since the days when the only shots he could handle where the ones in Bex but for all his effort you never felt truly comfortable with him between the sticks. A lower level of fitba awaits....good luck chiel!!...and mind and keep an eye on yer credit card this time.

---

Unarguably the strongest unit we have just now, emphasised by the fact our right back has been absent the entire season (and replaced by a winger!) and we've hardly noticed.

Having said that, we still need cover for injuries/suspensions in central defence, a role which either the now departed Griffin or MacFarlane could have done quite easily.

Hopefully, Tango and Sash are aware of this and have someone lined up and we don't leave ourselves short until the January window again.

- Russ
There simply arenae enough superlatives to describe Russ this season.

His positioning and timing are now virtually faultless, in fact they're so good Russ barely needs to make a challenge these days as he's invariably cut off the run or intercepted the pass before even our opponents know where they're goin.

He strolls nonchalantly through games exuding calm confidence. On Sunday, I heard God say that he needs to work on his distribution but other than that he's just about perfect. If the Greatest Penalty Box Player in the World Ever reckons you're the mutt's nuts then there's name much a bald dope-toking barfly can add.

Well except the semi-paranoid rant about Wattie and Tommy's disgraceful selection policy for Scotland which next season will see oor Russ probably 4/5th choice centre half for Scotland behind lesser talents like Caldwell.

Form and ability are only considerations after your club colours it seems; as a result Russ will be lucky to get even half the caps he deserves over his career.

Deluded paranoid nonsense? Yeah probably, but then ask yourself why Boyd wasnae capped at Killie (while Stephen Thompson was!) and what the likes of Stephen Crainey or Fat Boab Malcolm have done to justify their caps...then tell me I'm paranoid.

- Zander
Oh dear. Zander's year has been a nightmare of Elm Street proportions, and he's gone fae Boy Wonder to Bhoy Blunder.

A high percentage of the points we lost early on can be sourced to an error/monumental fuck up by Zander (the air shot vs. Hibs for example). Last season his dismissals could be written off as youthful enthusiasm, alas this year it's more ned-like knobbery.

However, I'm confident this season was just one of those problematic puberty-like years young players have prior to become top class pros.

I'm sure most of the regulars can recall the now deity Russ regularly having bomb scare moments when he was younger and Zander is infinitely a better player than Russ was at the same age.

All he needs to do is screw the nut as they say, and if he doesnae well he'll be back in Dumbarton shell suited and sovvy ringed up sooner than he thinks.

- Hart
We missed him badly folks, hard to believe that a few years back when he'd returned fae Livi I almost got lobbed outta Dens for going apeshit at his ineptitude.

Think the best compliment you can pay Mikey is that once he's back at right back you won't notice him again.

Never gonna have his own song or dedicated fan club and he's unlikely to ever be capped but oor Mikey does his job quietly and efficiently to the point that you only really notice him when he's gone.

- SuperKev
Sob sob sniff sniff...Kev finally seemed to have got over Berti Vogts accusing him of being a big Jessie...and just as he does he decided to leave on the advice of John Viola, who is to fitba agents what Gary Glitter is to childcare.

Sheer class for the last few months, so quite how he didnae get into the Kirin Cup Squad mystifies me...well no, it's Wattie and Tommy...make that ‘depresses me'.

Good luck Kev min (provided you dinna end up at another Scottish side) and thanks for the memories. Think you've made a mistake, like. We're on the verge of something and you want to go to the likes o Cardiff? Och well it's your career I suppose but I'd bin the shitebag agent anyway.

- Bryne
Ah, Socrates!! It would be easy to pigeonhole Richie as an Irish hod carrier with limited if any skill. Easy but true.


Having said that lets not forget it was Bryne who sparked that bizarre Cup comeback at the ground wi 5 stands with his lumbering overlaps. Something Zander has since imitated in his move out to right back.

It wouldnae surprise me next season to deploy this duo as blood and thunder backs at some point, I mean there's a time when we require subtlety and stealth and then there will be times when it'll be more effective to unleash two lumbering uncoordinated threshing machines to rummel over the top o folk.

Fine as a back up, clear yer lines type man but we need a more cultured left back to be brought in the summer, thankfully both Hammell and MacNamee could fill that role.

---

Certainly we dinna lack for central midfielders, however I still think we need a touch mair creativity in the middle. Seve can play the water carrier role perfectly but we still lack the guy to slip thru the killer ball from the middle of the park.

On the flanks, we had no shortage of creativity from Snoyl and Smith and once we find a replacement for Ferne then our midfield is as good as any in the Scottish game.

- Seve
Simply a class act, we are a much better side with him in it. Can play just as well in central defence but this weakens our midfield.

With him and Russ, the spine of a quite decent side is emerging. Only real flaw is goal scoring, though if they're all of similar quality to the pearler vs. Hibs...who cares?

- Nicholson
Didn't do anything wrong but at £250K we committed a large section of our transfer budget and I think we expected a bit more than honest professionalism.

He wasnae helped by being shunted around fae position to position by Tango and Sash and in all probability will be Seve's default partner in midfield. Will expect more next season.

- Dempsey
For 90% of the season you could see why Tango wanted to unload him to Darlo or Donny or far ever it wis.

No doubt Dempsey has the skill, unfortunately he lacks pace, I'd be quite confident of beating him over 10 yards provided of course there was a reason to run (maybes not so much a case of the Carrot and Stick as the Pint and Spliff).

With his lack of pace if we could develop a system which allowed him to sit in an advanced role and spray passes for Lovell and co he may well justify selection.

- Foster
Quickly replacing Mackie as the designated scapegoat.

As I said after the Hibs game, Rickaldinho's major flaw is that he obviously has both the skill and pace to make it but he invariably undoes all this good work with an error at the crucial moment...his breakaway at Parkhead for example when he cut it back for Seve instead of shooting.

Nae as bad as some of his Curva critics suggest but does need to work on the mental side of his game.

- Winter
Goal against Tims, then farmed out to St Johnstone for 2nd half of season. Hopefully will return a more complete player for next season.

- Macaulay
Broke through and did ok...may benefit by being farmed out to a lower league side for next season.

- Smith
Got to admit disliked him when he signed, not for anything he'd done more for the fact he was a recipient of one of the 'Caps for the Bhoys' in the Burns/Vogts era.

However, until Xmas he was almost carrying the side alone both in terms of effort and goals (Lovell only sneaked past him vs. Hibs). Faded in the 2nd half but then wingers who are consistent all season are a rare as hens teeth particularly in the market we're shopping in at the mo.

Undoubtedly our best signing of the season, so mair o the same next year Jamie loon !

- Clark
Thanks to Hart's injury he's spent most of the season as right back.

Ok nae the best tackler in the world but carried out his duties with some aplomb. Delivery and final ball still require a bit of work but one of our most dedicated and hardworking players.

With Mikey back next year and Smith established as number 1 spot on the right wing may struggle to maintain his place next time round but worthy of a spot as one of our best squad players.

- Snoyl
Helped make our season, provided the much needed balance that Muirhead was never gonna provide.

Alas just a fleeting stay as his wages/fee are beyond our budget, having said that don't see any reason why we couldnae get him on a season long loan next time out...with perhaps 1st option to sign him.

My only concern about grabbing him permanently is the lazy stereotype about Dutch players. When their happy and content Dutch players are as near to the Brazilians as Europeans get, a discontent Dutchman was a cancerous effect on a squad...(see Gillhaus/Van Hugedonkey and now Van Noodleroy).

A replacement for Snoyl? Well given their haein a clearout, Robson fae United might be worth a look - he's nae in the same class as oor Ferne but he's much better than Muirhead.

---

Our weakest link and just like last season the area that needs most attention in the off season.

If it was me I'd be looking round for a decent target man as it's noticeable none of our current forwards is that great in the air, well Mackie can leap like a salmon but he heads like een as well.

Much excitement about the loon Chris Maguire's debut vs. Celtic but cynical bugger as I am, 25 minutes in what was really a bounce match disnae convince me he can 'save us millions' as the Depress had it.

I'd actually like us do what Hibs do with their youngsters to see the likes o Chris and the much hyped Andy Bagshaw being loaned out to the lower leagues to toughen them up and score a few goals...hell if it can work for Kenny Miller, Riordan and O'Connor it's nae to be sniffed at.

- Lovell
Injury blighted is I believe the appropriate phrase here and an early loss of form and confidence, he didnae score between the Huns games at Todders.

If we can keep him fully fit and get even a decent supply for him then we can tick the '20 Goals a Season Striker' off the checklist for components we need for a successful side. In full flow his off the ball movement and finishing is miles better than anyone else at the club and even with an effectively a half season he still managed to outscore Lee Miller.

Who?

- Crawford
Ay Caramba!!...as you gathered when he signed I failed to see logic behind signing him.

There is a slot in the squad for the wily old pro and Crawford undoubtedly has the talent, the major question mark has been his commitment.

I expected 6-8 goals and that's all we got. Can do the job required I just think we could get better value for money elsewhere...unfortunately in Scotland he's now known as soiled goods and short of us paying him to go away we're stuck with him until the end of next year. Bummer.

- Mackie
I actually quite like oor Daz and dinna think he's as quite as bad as others make him out to be.

He's never gonna be the sort of player to lead the line but with his pace he's perfect coming off it and gettin behind folk.

Sadly his shooting and finishing has always been hit and miss with the emphasis on miss and he's now too old to carry the label 'promising youngster'...unless Daz can get his arse in gear and quickly he'll be surplus to requirements at Todders.

-Stewart
Yip I know he scored a brace on Sunday. Yip I know he's scored a barrow load in the stiffs but I just dinna rate Stewart, who I consider to be Darren Mackie without the talent.

Too small to be a target man and too light to be much cop playing in the box. Another who's really got to make the breakthrough next season or it's cheerio time.

---

So there ye go, please fell free to pass yer own judgements or simply call me a baldy arse on the Stand Free messageboard.

Our off season signing priorities?

I'd say a left back, left winger and a ‘target man', and additional cover for just about everywhere.

As for our squad, as I said the only weak area is up front but even then I'd say we're strong enough to be there or there abouts next season already.

Stand Free

The Red Avenger