The View Fae The Red Side...Gods Own 3 (THREE) - Satans XI 2 (TWO)

Says a lot for the mismanagement on and off the field in the 90's...that the best they could come up wi by way of rivalry was ...."Err well the fans don't really like each other much"...in terms of competition for the last decade it's been akin to an asthmatic pit pony trying to take on a thoroughbred race horse.

That we hadnae beaten them since 1998 at home (lets gloss over our Ibrox record for now) with as unpleasant and disturbing as wandering in on yer parents shaggin for Reds of a similar vintage to masel...by the same token our failure to beat Dun-fuckin-Dee at Todders for almost a generation now should be seen as akin to wandering in on yer Grandparents havin an S&M ménage a trois wi the home help.

Having said that what has been frustrating for the last 18 months or so has been to see just how poor and ordinary The Ginger Judas (I) Rangers side are and still not being able to beat them.

Same applied yesterday...bar an outstanding shift by Dado Pikey...sorry Prso (face it Hun or no you'd have him in Red) He alone provided the impetus and only real creative spark in a dull lifeless Hun side. Only when the ball got to Prso did you go "Aw shit" and he appears to have some special powers which transformed Zander Diamond from potential Scotland Cap into a swirling mass on threshing legs and arms. Zander copied with everything else thrown at him, which when Stevie Thompson came on included arms, legs elbows...but when Prso came at him he resembled the proverbial headless chicken.

Prso aside there was more to laugh at than fear in the evil Blue Heathens ranks....Boab Malcolm...Nando and Nacho the Homo having a wee spat...Sir Baz o the Chav spitting his dummy oot...on the evidence on the cliquey behaviour shown yesterday Rangers can only be called a 'team' in the loosest sense of the word....and when you have to bring on Alex 'Auld Man' Rae you know yer fucked....and further sniggering when Mo Ross got a standing ovation fae the Reds when he came on.

Suffice to say last seasons title (which if their honest not exactly won rather taken by default when Celtic bottled it) so anything less than a hefty win over Famagusta and a win vs. the Green Hooped monkeys in the Glasgow Village Idiot of the Year gathering next week and Eck's peg will move firmly back to the 'shoogly' variety.

Yep they were undoubtedly pish and for once we fuckin beat them.

We started the first slowly giving them a respect and space that they frankly weren't due but slowly the penny dropped that this mob were as the French say merde and we upped the tempo...and agricultural tackle from Fat Boaby on Superkev resulted in a free kick, flicked in by Dempsey, Lovell knocked it on and.....well I'm no exactly certain what happened next as I wholehearted joined in the mother of all bounces. All seater stadia have curtailed the traditional bounces...bar on the 'Y' of course where it's still possible to do the auld pure mad mental pogo/banshee wailing sort of effort where you end up clinging on to a compete stranger and end up 10-15 yards from your spot.

Part of me wished that it had been 10 minutes earlier when PC G8906 decided to go on a one man mission to clear the 'Y' and frogmarched 5 or so Reds out the ground....the chorus of "Bullied at school, bullied at school, hello" only made the wannabe Hitler increase his determination to harass and aggravate punter who were peacefully watching the game. Pundits and commentator these days ask why people have no respect for the Keystone Cops....could it be as G8906 showed yesterday cos their all power mad wankers perhaps?

Anyway back to the game...just as I'd got my breathe back from bounce one (I've really got to cut back on the tabs)...Nicholson made Fat Boaby look like a statue and a simple thru ball left Lovell one on one wi David Hasselhoff and he powered home number 2.....cue the err 'Grandmother' of all bounces (?) and as I rescaled the 'Y' I mused 'How fuckin easy is this'.

As I was envisioning a 5-6 goal walk over...a cheers from the hitherto silent Mongol hordes indicated they'd scored...bollocks.

So 2-1 at halftime and to be honest even though we were up their goal had dented the confidence and given our form in the last 15 years or so the Leonard Cohen side to many Dandies emerged...we're fucked...their gonna win now etc etc. Much depression was enhanced when inexplicably from kick off in the second we sat off and sat off sitting far too deep and inevitably Lovenpants pulled them level.

The wise money and most Reds now went for the Huns to pull away...we needed a hero...someone to save the Day....he duly arrived...SUPERNANDO!!!

Yep forget all this pish about a new 'mature' Ricksen...once a fuckwit always a fuckwit in my book and wi that daft Mohawk effort which only makes him look like a retard and camp Jean Claude Van Damme he now looks a complete fuckwit. Yes, with the game there for the taking he contrived to get himself sent off for a needless foul (though to be fair he could/should have walked for the off the ball incident just on half time which left Seve poleaxed).....much hilarity. After years of heckling him and adopting him as our pantomime villain he finally came up wi the goods.....Cheers Nando!!!!

Despite being a man up and being thrown a lifeline there seemed to be a nervousness about us and an unwillingness to press home our advantage...they seemed content with the draw and to be honest so did we.

When we attacked they were overfinessed/one pass too many/attempting to walk it in when what we really needed to do (IMO) was start peppering them with crosses/shots...and lo and behold when we finally did....

Now I've gone on record as saying Jamie Smith was a bit pish...a Celtic/Den Haag reject I mused cannae run, cannae really cross winna do much for us......based on yesterday I would like to humbly apologise to Mr Smith....he may well turn out to be all the above but for the sheer and unadulterated joy his goal gave me I quite frankly couldnae give a flying shit.

I was mid scream telling him to 'HIT IT!!! FOR FUCKS SAKE JUST FUCKIN HI......OH YOU FUCKIN BEAUTY!!! PICK THAT EEN OOT HASSELHOFF YA CHUNT!!!"

So there you go....Jamie Smith - he's better than Zidane...official.

I had been intending on sloping off to Stoney to babysit the wee neph.....such plans were promptly binned and a night of alcoholic and pharmaceutical delights followed...not even discovering Drew Jarvie has mair hair on his napper than me could put a downer on it for me.

There are probably a few minor quibbles such as why when they went down to 10 men and went 4-4-1 did we stick wi 5 at the back and 1 up front...? But when the final score reads Aberdeen 3 Rangers 2...to paraphrase Barry Davies from the 1988 Olympic Hockey Final...'Quite frankly who cares!!!'

Just dinna make us wait 7 years next time lads eh?


The Red Avenger